For giving me the tools I need to become an unbelievable Mother one day just like you. Nevertheless, you rose from the table, took a few deep breaths and sat back down ready to try again.Īs your daughter, I thank you for being my mentor and for setting an amazing example for me every day. I know there were times that it frustrated you that despite your best efforts, sometimes it just didn't click. Math was and is still way beyond my comprehension. Don't even get me started on the Math homework. Hours later, you picked me up from school, clothes in the car, taking me to a Girl's Guide meeting. I have to wonder, in twenty-five years, how much sleep have you lost for me? How many sacrifices did you make because you had to work to provide? How did you manage to keep it together when you left work, to come to a riding lesson, just to return to work. After a mere touch of your foot, the gentle calling out of "Mommy" you wake ready to chase away my monsters and love me through the pain. Those nights when the pain was too much to bare, I walked or crawled into your bedroom. Even now, at almost twenty-five years old, there have been times after I've gone to bed when, that you've come in to check on me while I was sleeping. Some are blessed to work from 9am-5pm, but I know your hours go far beyond that. There are times when we're on FaceTime now, where you are leaving one job just to go to another. Looking back, I cannot think of a time when you didn't work at least two jobs. Now that I'm older and debatably wiser, I now see that what you did wasn't normal and it proves you're not human. Now, for a single parent, in my case a single mother. I am here to tell you that the greatest, most difficult and often unappreciated job is that of a parent. When you hear the word job, what are the images that come to your mind? Please hear and believe me when I say this: when asked who I admire most and who I want to be when I grow up, my answer is you. I am incredibly blessed and among my greatest blessings was you, Mom. To this day, they still support me in all of my decisions and are a part of both my successes and failures. (No offense, dads.) No matter what I have done or said, they never failed to acknowledge the good qualities I possess. When I faced hardships, they were the ones to tell me everything I needed to hear-things that need to be heard from a mother’s perspective. They expressed love to me like a birth mother would do to their child. No matter how many errors or successes that followed, they still had my back. They were compassionate and provided me the guidance I needed to persevere through my situations. After everything I have been through, these women were not critical. However, the women who supported me most were the ones who didn’t even give birth to me. I have made countless mistakes, stupid decisions, and been selfish on multiple occasions.
With that being said, I realized this- Maternity does not determine a motherly relationship unconditional love does.
These are the things that most people get from their mothers, and what some get from other figures. The age I’m at right now requires a lot of support, love and encouragement to get by.
Stress is almost overbearing while reality gives me slaps in the face daily. I am currently in one of the most important phases of my life that basically dictates my future. Recently, however I have come to a realization about motherly relationships. I continued wishing women who were important in my life a happy Mother’s Day and let them know how much I appreciated them. I accepted my situation, but I didn’t approve. I was so happy to see that there was a happy family, but as I said earlier- I didn’t have what they had. When I went to my friends’ houses and saw how their mother and them were so close, it tore me up on the inside. Since there was no possible way to obtain this relationship, I beat myself up over it. Mothers who describe their pregnancy say that the bond that develops during pregnancy is one that cannot be felt with anyone else. For the longest time, I believed birth was the true binder between a mother and child. I desperately craved this mother-daughter relationship that couldn’t be broken.
#LOGIC MIXTAPES AND ALBUMS LIST FULL#
From my father, step-mothers, grandmothers, my friends’ moms or close relatives, I could never find full satisfaction with my situation-especially on Mother’s Day. Other people, both men and women, assumed a motherly role they didn’t have to take on. For the last 19 years, I haven’t had my blood mother in my life.
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